It’s not easy in today’s society to truly feel beautiful. We as women are bombarded everywhere we turn by images and voices telling us we are imperfect creatures. Millions of dollars are made by various companies and advertisers telling us WE can achieve perfection via the purchase of some “beauty” product; eating or NOT eating certain foods, exercising with this piece of equipment or that one, camouflaging or uncovering certain body parts…Lord, it never ends.

Unfortunately, for a vast number of women we ‘buy’ into it, literally. We spend dollar after dollar on cosmetic products that one-by-one pile up in our “make-up” drawer, exercise videos and exercise equipment by one ‘perfect’ physical specimen after another, chemical processes and extensions in our hair to achieve the most “flattering’ styles, we offer bodies up to the sacrificial alter of beauty to be plucked, waxed, shaved , exfoliated, nipped, tucked and for what? So, we can continue to chase the always unattainable beauty ideal?

Don’t get me wrong, I prefer to shave my legs, wear nail polish and lipstick and I don’t wear socks with my sandals. But I’d like to think that if one day I awoke and couldn’t wear one cosmetic product, relax my ethnic hair or lose that extra 20 lbs.; I would know that I was still a beautiful woman.

I have a full-grown adult daughter and I am thankful that I decided to go natural when she turned 5 years old. It all started with the sentence of ‘I wish I had blond hair like Cinderella and down my back’ because in her mind she perceived her kinky, coily hair as ‘bad’. I vowed at that very moment to be an example and NOT the status quo of what society thinks hair, or a female body should look like. As we all know kids can be cruel and most times, they are repeating the things they hear and learn at home.

By changing my perspective of what I was doing and modeling, I was able to model what and how I treated myself, my body, my curves (there is nothing skinny about my body, LOL!) and now at 21 years old, she knows that she is a beautiful girl, can take care of her own hair (no matter how many times she has changed it) and also knows the right foods to eat, as well as working out. Telling your child that you love her just the way God made her can only go for so long, so I chose leading by my life choices, behavior and overall, how I see myself.

True beauty is what comes from inside and radiates outside in the acts of kindness and consideration you give to others, the way you love and respect yourself, the joy you take in sharing time with family and friends, and the sacrifices you make so that others can be happy. True beauty is loving yourself no matter what your shade, size, financial or educational situation. I hope that wherever she lands in this increasingly appearance obsessed world that she can pass every reflection of herself with a smile of security and peace.

It has taken me years of spending and self-doubt to finally realize that you cannot find what you need in a bottle, you can only look from within yourself to find your true beauty.